Funny Senior Quotes
another FUN part of Senior Caregiving


You’d be astonished by the funny senior quotes you’d encounter if you were a fly on the wall! Here are just a few:

  • “Living with Alzheimer’s is never dull – you meet someone new everyday!”
    - Source Unknown

  • “When you get to be our age, you don’t dare sit still for too long or someone will throw dirt on you!”
    - Gerald Alvarez

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The gas level was nearing empty as the car pulled up to the gas pump over the loud protestations of the driver’s elderly mother-in-law, a nature-lover and activist-wannabe who vehemently objected to patronizing that particular company in the wake of a major oil spill.

Seizing the opportunity to retaliate by “getting her goat” on the matter, her son-in-law defended his decision to choose that station by teasing, “Why, I always frequent this station, Ginny, and every time I do, I think of you.”

Without missing a beat, his father-in-law replied, “Yeah? Well, she gets gas every time she thinks of you, too, Dan!”

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“It’s not that I mind getting old,” the elderly lady confided, “so much as my mind’s getting old!”

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A poetry workshop at an independent living facility in which participants, ranging in age from 75-92, were to write a group poem, yielded the following limerick:

The Woman from Kent
There was a young woman from Kent
Who didn’t have one measly cent.
She sold what she had
While skimpily clad,
Which brought on a “blessed event”!

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Some funny senior quotes demonstrate that, when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, age really is just a number! One senior caregiver reported...
“Karen,” my 82-year-old grandmother said, as we hoisted the last of several boxes of antique wares into the trunk of her Dodge Dart in preparation for set up at yet another antique show that summer.
“I’m going to give all this up and become a prostitute. It’s bound to be more money, and I’m sure it’s a lot more fun!”

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Startled to find Ms. Harvey approaching as I turned to close the door behind me before entering the room where the Men’s Club was gathering, I leaned down to ear-level, blocking the path of her wheelchair and whispered, “Ms. Harvey, I’m sorry, but that’s the Men’s Club that’s meeting in there. And the last time we checked, you’re not one.”

With a sly grin and a mischievous spark in her eye, she cocked her head to the side as she replied, “Oh, so that’s the Men’s Club in there? Well, in that case,” she added, wriggling her hips from side to side in her wheelchair, “Tell ’em to come on!”

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The nursing/rehab facility’s resident Lothario defended his flirtations behavior to the shocked visitor with these immortal words: “I may be wiltin’ on the vine, but I ain’t dead yet!”

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“What are these pills for?” the man asked as he downed the medicine that was handed to him.“They’re to help keep your ‘pencil’ sharp, so to speak,” the nurse replied.“I’ve got no problem keeping my pencil sharp,” countered the old codger,”The trouble is, I’ve got no tablet to write on!”


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